Can you edit my paper following the instruction my professor sent me below.


(Professor Note)

Your Proposal does not conform to the format, content and level of professionalism prescribed in The Student Guide to the MSA 699 Capstone Project, Part 1. This is the required text for the course and you can download a copy at You will also need to download Part 2 of the Guide in order to secure the forms and guidance you will need to complete the requirements for the Research Review Application process.

After reviewing and studying the Student Guide, you will need to revise your Proposal to meet the following requirements:
1. Title Page conforms to the example on page 17.
2. The proposal consists of the contents specified on page 8.
3. See pages 39 ff for format and required content for each chapter.
4. Review pages 1 through 7 for discussion of expectations for the Capstone Report.
5. A critical expectation is that the Capstone Report “should report conclusions and recommendations to management in a professional, coherent, logical and persuasive manner.”

6. I strongly recommend you send your revised proposal to the Writing Center before you send it to me for my technical review. The draft you sent contained too many grammatical and syntax errors.
There are a number of methodological issues you need to address:
1. You are the researcher not the Director. It is the Director who is concerned about employee turnover at NARA, not you. Approach the Proposal accordingly. You have a tendency to make factual type statements without citations and proper attribution.

You are the “researcher” so remain objective and impartial.
2. The research objectives do not mesh with the Problem Statement.
3. Your survey as written will not address nor answer the research objectives. Your methodology does not provide a clear exposition of what you will do to collect the necessary data, how you will analyze this data and the decision criteria you will need to see to be able to make recommendations.

4. Your literature review reads like an annotated bibliography. That is, nearly every paragraph reviews one piece of research or study, rather, paragraphs/sections need to be topical wherein you are discussing relevant topics in each paragraph/section and relying on several authors/studies to do so.
Since you are planning on conduct a survey, follow the following instructions sent to you in an email from the MSA Department back in January and also contained in the Student Guide Part 2:

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